@TICfanpage's timeline on Twitter .. 2 of 2
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I've already eaten my monthly allotment of nuts.
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Note to self: faith & make up.
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Maybe I don't WANT to do good tweets..
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I like to wear a t-shirt with a big cookie on it that says "I Eat Carbs" to the gym. Thug Life
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Isn't it refreshing to know that we will all go down in history as the great philosophers of our time?
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I just go out in public to give strangers more opportunities to judge me
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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no ones definition of your life, define yourself~H Firestone
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Jedi mind tricks aren't just for emergencies: they're also just plain handy. "This isn't the last donut you're looking for."
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Drunk tweeting is a lot like cataloging your silly thoughts as they occur in a public forum and what could possibly be wrong with that?
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You don't have to earn respect from me. It's there as it should be, and yours to keep. You decide if you want to lose it.
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Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is. - Albert Camus
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Some Tweeps get xcited bout cats Some ova d moon about dogs Some lassies wear flats Some high on clogs Worst part of pets Picking up logs
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Reason #583 why I shouldn't clean: I bent over to get something out from under the couch, and now my tooth hurts.
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“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky ♥
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Must spend less time with my dogs. Haven't bitten the mailman yet but I am starting to circle three times before sitting down.
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I don't need someone to make my life easier. Just better.
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she mumbled blue & violet cellophane words that jumbled 2gether to form a star that disappeared into the bunnys ear hoppin them into the sky
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The part of the story no-one talks about is that Goldilocks was the reason Mama Bear & Papa Bear slept in separate beds...
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Unemployed people don't shower, right? I just want to make sure I'm doing this right.
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When people see me out and about they always ask "shit the bed?" What does that even mean?
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I see I've still got my 5 star average *rolls eyes* ..!..
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Dear Life: Thanks for the shit! -Courtesy Flush
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I'll believe in joggers when they master the smile and run.
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1988, Attention All Reptiles, auditions for The Ninja Mutants is in sound stage B. Tortoise: "what did he say sonny." Turtle: "SOUNDSTAGE A"
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Sometimes sarcasm is scarey and hard to grasp...*pats your head softly*
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An ice cream truck that sells ice cream with lists of bad choices on the wrappers would be a sobering way to warn parents.
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there comes a time in our lives when we must ask ourselves "guess what?" and we must answer with "chicken butt"
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What gives, Feelings? I thought we had a deal.
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When did we stop dreaming without caution?
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LITTLE PIG, LITTLE PIG LET ME IN! ...girls don't like it when you sing Green Jello to them to get them 'in the mood'
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santino says that we are 'all of the things.' and he's v smart. but idk i think i'm only about seven things
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That dog food commercial where the dog eats it, jumps over a bush and becomes a majestic wolf in mid flight doesn’t work for stupid poodles.
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Letting go of something bad in your life, isn't a sign of failure, it's a sign of maturity that you're finally taking care of yourself.
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The grossest thing about snakes is their inability to kickflip.
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Money can't make you happy. For example, I have $53 in my bank account and I'm still miserable.
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There's only one real secret to Twitter, and that is TWEET. Tweet your stupid fucking heart out, the rest sorts itself.
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Teach me, use me, claim me, study me, direct me, pose me, desire me, unwrap me, carry me, show me how to please. A lament of an unused muse.
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It never occurred to me to misrepresent myself. In fact, that's why I came.
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My Instagram: dog pic, dog pic, I left the house and here's the proof pic, dog pic, dog pic.
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"Life is more vivid & putridly beautiful when it's cosmically sad"..said the Big Bad Wolf as he ravished Little Red Ridding Hood from behind
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Ooooops RT'd a bad word.
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When you watch movies on an Xbox you should be able to use the controller to have little karate people fucking things up on the screen.
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And dub steps up to the plate... The pitch is wide...
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Never let pain consume you so much that you forget to act. Either walk away, or fight. But do something. Cause later, this will haunt you.
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Just had dinner. A burrito of corned beef and cabbage with horseradish and sour cream. En garde, Facebook.
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find what's good in the mythology find what's wise find what's honorable find what's love
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I fear that some peeps I follow are not real. They may be aliens in disguise. This is scawry mom.
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She has: husband, kids, loving dog, and huge house I have:3 booty calls,a bag of weed, and a ranch stain on my pants Not sure who's winning.
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show me on the measuring cup how much i'm allowed to love you
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Because men can't, giraffes have to blow themselves or they die immediately after birth. Thems the rules.
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Ask me what I'm thinking of & I'll say "the lack of gravitational pressure exerted on muscles during prolonged periods in orbit" Then leave.
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Give me your crucifix so I know it's real. No... not the one you put in my mouth - you keep that. Yah; that one.
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All the crying and fist shaking wont do a bit of good. I must be strong and go ahead and fill my gas tank.
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Does anyone even remember why we don't like Nickelback?
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If there were a college course on the theological implications of flossing, I'd take it.
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We'll wait to subtweet you until we're sure your dumb ass is asleep.
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"So what?! I've seen girls before!" I yelled at the igloo as it pelted me with lemons.
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Oh crazy people are better than normal? Then you'll love me! *cries for 3 hours about animals, does a ton of fake karate, quits another job*
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invent me out of made up words sculpt me with invisible hands paint me outside the lines sing me into existence a miracle without a witness
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No, there isn’t a ‘right’ way to do twitter. It’s a pretty stupid habit any way it’s done.
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Rhyming is sweet Rhyming is cool She up so straight Feet on a stool Olfactory offended She felt a fool Why she offended? Feet on a stool
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If you're my friend. There's never a need to hurt me. I've always been broken. Just accept me & love me.. unconditionally.
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My O face is the same as my I got soap in my eye face.
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Your top tweets reveal more about others than they do about you.
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The occupational therapy doesn't work in all cases.Sometimes is so pointless than the discussions between Donald Trump & his hairdresser.
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Sometimes anti-smokers reminds me atheists.They talking about God all the fucking time.
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The cat walked over the candle, now my kitchen smells like burnt cat ass
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Vine is an old Indian word for “7 second cat videos”
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i wanna fuck the failure right out of you.
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Its only a mistake if you stay there.~ Marie Osmond ♥
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I love when I test my tweets on my husband, he always says...."Well it's not not funny"
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a hallelujah always on the inside. for trees. for mud. for sky. for kids crossing the street. for the dude at 7/11. an always hallelujah
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If these phones are so smart why don't they keep us from tweeting stupid bullshit?
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there's a thin line between word and world
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sometimes all i need is the air that i breathe and to bug you
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The chicks, the hair, the leather....Yes, it's Metal Mania...Yes, I'm sad an old. I wish I had pancakes.
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Today, instead of falling asleep in a meeting, I translated the rude version of the "Addams Family" theme to Spanish & made it rhyme.
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I don't have a Twitter crush. You know, 'cause I'm not insane.
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Pretty people taste better.
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"A working class hero is something to be." - a super rich, super famous rock star
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Made some major life changes today: Carrying my keys in my left pocket now. Also using Album View on iTunes.
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what if you were furry and you were the united states of america
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I know a never ending @ when I see one.
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Why not Atlas *Hugged*? C'mon, Rand!
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i would give you all the flies
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Want to kickflip like me, kids? Stay in school.
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Note to self : stay away from the twitter. You were doing good.
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I'll meet you half way and make the toast.
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I wore a tie today, My dogs were very concerned - they were waiting for a giant to come take me for a walk.
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People aren't as funny when they unfollow you.
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I should probably react to your overreaction but you'll think I was overreacting so I'll just not react at all. Plus you blocked me.
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*note to self* Do more Al Sharpton jokes
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After a few whiskey sours, aunt patches claims any transvestite named fruit loop mcgillicuddy is okay in her book.
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Remember when you ruined everything? Yeah, me too.
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I'm the yellow snow your mom warned you about ..!..
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I don't always know the right thing to say at the right time, but I do know that my heart is in the right place all the time.
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whatever path you take makes all the difference. maybe there will be a good stick
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Sometimes I RT just to hide my embarrassingly bad tweets that I can't delete because some weirdo starred them.
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People don't appreciate you? Then appreciate yourself. It sounds stupid but in reality, it's the only thing that most people have left
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Try to reach out and touch someone but wear gloves to protect your feelings. This analogy sucks.
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You guys wanna distract gary busey with conspiracy theories while i swap his concrete yaks teeth with marshmallows for a goof?
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Sometimes I'm so lazy , I'll get up an hour earlier , just so I do nothing a little longer .
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Your impact on others lives is monumental. Please remember that.
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When I find myself doing weird shit, I like to play "quirk or deep-rooted intimacy issue?" It's a pretty depressing game, actually.
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Life is an art, and you are the artist.” ~ Unknown ♥
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gonna go where the swamp people go gonna show em some ice cream
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Everything's coming up bananas.
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I'm opening a chain of mental hospitals for guns so they can get they help they need.
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I can't stand living in the past. Unless it was good. Then, it's worth revisiting. Only then. But just for a minute.
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#ConfessionNight I don't like my boyfriend. Hes kind of a dumbass/pendejo. -
What's better'n countin' sheep? Starrin' mah tweets, yo!
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It's ok to follow an egg. I was an egg once before I blossomed into the beautiful, tweet-sputtering chicken you see before you.
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Just baked chocolate chip cookies from scratch for your twitter crush... With nuts.
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Best advice my Dad ever gave me: Admit your mistakes but don't tell anyone.
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No one, nothing, is worth more than your own integrity. Don't give it up.
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No YOU just went bi-coastal on yourself bitches!
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Spilling beer on myself helps me know I'm alive.
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Thought Lucy was in the sky with diamonds but I found her here with almonds.
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Stepping in dog shit while picking a four leafed clover is how i roll.
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I want to thank you for trolling the twitter looking to start shit. You're my hero. I love you.
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Let's get my shit together and your shit together and maybe they can do lunch.
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'no don't do that' i say 'haha i'm doing it' i say back
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We can't all be rich, beautiful, talented, witty and all the other perceived good things in life, but we all sure as hell can be kind.
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Accidentally ripped a hole in my pants today. Feeling punk rock as fuck.
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It's nice to see underdogs win. To think, before tonight nobody ever heard of Harvard University, and now they're trending!
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~ A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. - Albert Einstein ♥
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..."And he faded away into the back alley of a city with a mangy dog & a broken tambourine where he lived happily ever after"...
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Twitter is my treehouse.
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“Everything you can imagine is real.” ― Pablo Picasso ♥
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...for god night, good morning or ...for no reason http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9_vZNGSHms&list=PLN7edzqO-ODX0mUvzKQnXYknLCz9Rcc30&index=28 …
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Buy me a light saber, so I know it's real...
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~ "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." – Aldous Huxley ♥
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I sure hope you don't get laid cause we don't need anymore inspirational tweeters <3
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Last time someone told me there was change in the air I got hit in the face with a fistful of nickels. Change sucks.
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If you're angry at somebody and subtweeting them and it's not me please add "Not you Jim." at the end. Thank you.
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WOW... potatoes wrapped in aluminum foil cook in like 9 seconds in the microwave.
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You should take another year off...
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I lost my cape when I was 27... I've been sad ever since :(
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My alma mater still calls and asks me for money. If they had only been so funny while I was there.
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The voices in my head are usually having sex & sometimes they let me watch. I asked once why the ball gag was so big, but they ignored me.
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You should see the smile on my face when I finally get the time to read your nonsense.
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I don't know why it's so hard for some of us to have a little faith. We're putting faith in each other that not everyone here is a catfish.
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Your body may turn guys on. I suggest that you wear burka or shit.
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It’s like I agree with everyone here.
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Just added "cock sucking enthusiast " in my new resume . Even though its only a hobby
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Newbies, you don't wait for followers, you go get them.
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never let someone other than you, define you.
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While I nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a scratching, then a screaming and meowing, shut the fuck up cat-- Poe if he had a cat
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Dear Shannen Doherty, How exactly do I earn s Culinary Arts degree online? Sincerely, van
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I'm lending my time machine to Neil Diamond so he can go back and kick the crap out of himself before he records "Cherry Cherry Christmas."
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Be love & experience love. RT
@philosarific: theres more love here than anywhere -
First half hour at new job. Managed to lock self out of my bank account.
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New alarm concept: forget lights, beeps, music. Surest way to get me awake and out of bed? "Someone has tagged you in a picture."
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By the way, I'm sure no one would be surprised at how we pronounce "Dumas" in Texas.
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My goat is lovely, My goat is beaut, My car is nice, A bright blue Ute. My goat is smart, 2 smart by far, It plays the flute &stole my car!
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Somewhere at this very moment, a woman dutch oven's herself in the tanning bed.
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On twitter theres lots o lovin Stars & RT thrown about Also there is pushin & shovin Some nice, some lout Only nice follo me Me run out 140
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Two queues, which to choose? I'll take the near que why don't you take the far que.
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I love when I get a star but no followback. It's like pulling over 2 let them pass; they give a half-ass wave and then chunk out a beer can.
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It's you overly inappropriate fuckers that stops us from having 'bring your kid to twitter day'. bless you.....
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It doesn't have to be funny... just comprehensible. Fucksake.
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Not sure why rocking back and forth in a corner gets such a bad rap. It's super soothing.
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Play shell game in your head and always pick the wrong thing to say.
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Been eating so much cheese, I think I have blocked myself.
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Great guys. Thanks to all of you, I've completely lost my ability to differentiate which thoughts to keep to myself.
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"I think I figured something out. Oh, wait, no I didn't." — Premature Extrapolaters
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When creating a winter wonderland in your home, yelling "fuck this shit" makes it a little more magical
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I tweet because I like being unfollowed, apparently.
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Between this cold I caught & the meds I'm taking, my vision is blurry, my ears are plugged and my voice is gone. But I play a mean pinball.
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A lot of people are leaving twitter, but not me. I'm going down with the ship.
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Unfollowing someone and expecting them to continue following you is exceptionally narcissistic. Even for Twitter.
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I sympathize with your pain, that's why I have to pull the plug.
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For every Twitter account you have, you lose 100 IQ points.
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"i'm gonna say bad words to my monkey so he stops crying." i do not know where she got that parenting tip but it was NOT from me
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I'm bringing hairy vag back. Who's with me?
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I was reverse parking today and a guy screamed at me and then he made a terrible crunching sound, so I drove off. So many freaks out there.
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Anyone out in toronto. I'm down waterfront...bring your heels...
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I assume my guardian angel must get bored protecting me from my mundane life, so sometimes I undress seductively to hold his interest.
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I like to vandalize your timeline!
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Guacamole is my kryptonite.
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You might think I'm over easy, but I'm really under hard.
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If I don't like someone on Twitter, instead of sending a mean tweet, I just tell Team follow back to follow them.
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I wrote this tweet two weeks ago.
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Poor little @'s that never get a reply, I wonder if they cry and make a fuss, or they just retry.
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I'm an organic egg, so don't be afraid to touch me.
Lilly
Ophelia Croissant
ShoutingGoddess
Mommy_P
Pam
indie claws
LoveScopes
Samuel Isaac Dealey
blunder rated
Nickels
Scott Taylor
Vocally Harsh
Susan W
PrincessCandyEmpire
Anonymous Vagabond
The Narrator
Emily Gray
Cheeky Ninja, yo!
WhatserName
Scarlett Fever
truly
Omar
Just Call Me Frank™©
Jesus Jaramillo
Jabberwocky
miss shushy paws
Zeke Kastens
Hushpuppy 5¢
Traylor Parker
Blakey Pants
Uncle JP the Janitor
Rainbow Brite
From the desk of ...
Madame LaCrooz
The Dork
ClumzyVixen
paula
JiJi
fairy
Not Silvestri
Carbosly
Cochina
Evil Schwartzie
Conspiracy Carrot
CatasTrophy
Suggestible Dave
System Failure
Jimmy
₩เlժŦl๏ฬєг³
Mytwoscentz
alex carbajal
Gone
SpaceSquirrel
Vanilla
Justin Walker™
Don Pearyawn
Tortured_soul
Dave
KaratCake
Lala W
Miz Jules
splendidly_dull
Dusty Hume
Rebecca + 3 ninos
James
gordon
Theodora Chester
Šoul (v╪) Λmplified
Commandant Grayza
Mark
Linda
Lauren Heron
Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Silent Bard Deadly
Catherine Thatch
Hypothetical Ricotta
Willowbottom
Darth Cookie-Leader
Nevermind
hashtagtractor
sunexplode
Yes It's Al
kelly
Bacon Ball
Justin Credible
Nobody In Particular
Justin Sane
Mr. Nova
Cher Horowitz
Jessica
®ábîdbünì
Egg Man
Labels: #ftwot, #gaf, #gsoav, #jsntf, #tbot, tweets, twitter
posted by Taranonymous Reads Not the Book of Tweet @ 4:17 PM
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