@TICfanpage's timeline on Twitter .. 1 of 2
Tweets
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A picture once worth a thousand words, found in a thrift store for a song
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I like when people can 'agree to disagree' and not be all fighty about it... Is how I know I'm old :/
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attn radio nowhere requesting frogs over
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I don't allow hate in my heart, so if you're big or small, young or old, and you're a bully, then I just don't fucking like you.
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The guides are blind and the hills have been waxed. No one tells you these things, so I shall.
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The conscious decision to seek change is the most frightening and yet most beautiful step towards peace and inner strength.
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I think my 15 min. lecture on the economic basis for the Civil War deflected attention from me tearing up when Lincoln died. Oops - spoiler.
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I like to cut up my bras & panties in little pieces before I throw them out, this way I won't have to see them worn on some crazy hobos head
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I just read your bio and I don’t like your rules.
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I can tell that some of you were that kid that always got his head stuck in the arm hole of his shirt.
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Convenience store? More like INCONVENIENCE store. Hahaha. Am I right? Haha. Hello?
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Nothing heals a scarred and wounded heart faster than kind words.
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When i miss grandma and her scratchy wizard beard kisses, i'll reminisce in the barn while frenching the billy goat.
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I'ld like to end on a positive note so: A#. It's not a Hashtag, it's a sharp sign. So very versatile.
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Hubs: I would never use social networking to tell anyone anything about myself. Me: That's okay, baby. I'm taking care of all that for you!
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I look like a fairy fucking princess in a dress but I don't wanna be a fairy fucking princess I just want a hug
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LoveLoveLove LoveWorldLove LoveLoveLove Love all around the world
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No, asshat. I am not a "Satanist." I'm an Irish American, who kneels only to the alter of music, my Keurig coffee brewer & sometimes penis.
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"Go on, take everything... take everything... I want you to." - Courtney Love instructing hired movers
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This self discovery thing is getting a bit boring. I feel like I'm a decoy.
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I employ a series of checks and balances before following. I check to see if you suck and I weigh your potential to annoy me.
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In an attempt to deal with my trust issues, I find myself wondering aloud exactly how far it is that I can actually throw an expert.#ftwot -
Not as troubling I forgot I was on a raft & thought the land was moving away as it is that something just bit me & a line is forming#ftwot -
Sweet dreams & have a great day. ☼ Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.- Jonathan Kozol
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Cow tipping isn't easy because they weigh a ton, and there's no appropriate place to put dollar bills during lap dances in the barn.#ftwot -
Never hate your enemies. It's a waste of your valuable energy.
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turtles are just frisbees with feet
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Defend you? Pfft. Not if it'll cost me my Favstar status. -
After spraining my wrist & breaking my helmet, I learned my lesson. From now on, instead of dumpster diving.. I'm gonna cannonball.#ftwot -
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. - Winston Churchill ♥
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Was at Dee Snider's house. I said I'd help with March of Dimes if he moved it to April, & then told his chair: I don't wanna rock.#tbot -
Was informed 'aimlessly wandering the world in polished shoes I hope to scuff' is not a career path. Now I'm sad. With indigestion.#tbot -
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. -Socrates
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Until Urban Dictionary lets me add words again, the opposite of a porcelain goddess is still not a rich Celine Dion.#tbot -
Some stop signs say, ALTO. I figured equal sign means: Sweet n’ Low. Rhymes with go, so.. I went. What else could it have meant?#tbot -
RT@sexoutTheCity: “Electric” by The Instant Classics band ( TIC ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7LNnsSuJ6s&sns=tw … via@youtube -
The Instant Classics band: “The Lion Sleeps on E Street”.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Cs-JqFw1iY&sns=tw … via
@youtube -
RT@DiscoSexRock: Sitting home thinking of ways to dominate the earth. Must get songs out. -
Jed's A Millionaire - "All" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L1nbt-ldro&sns=tw … via
@youtube -
Is reality assembling itself around you because of a truth you see in this tweet matching your belief? Will you still add hot sauce?#tbot -
Is a controlled fire an acceptable alternative to me doing yard work?
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Can we just set Donald Trump in a little paddle boat and gently push him out to sea now?
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~Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, ♏ ♥
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Of all the establishments in the world, you had to crank call The Scooter Store.#tbot -
I don’know why I smoke.I suppose for the same reasons that we drive fast or falling in love. Self-destructive tendencies.
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I'm not sure what was in those stuffed mushrooms last night, but they're the city's problem now.
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Here's our June gig calender. We'd love to have you come and join us!
@TICMusic#FF#LiveMusic#Phoenix pic.twitter.com/XSVHVOWyBo -
"Are you religious?" the teacher asked her new foreign exchange student. Angus: "I believe my big balls should be held every night."#tbot -
The dude just woke up and... smaaaack. TWO fucking rainbows in your face. In your motherfucking face. I'd be freaking out yo
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Over the counter medications for severe mental disturbances would take out the embarrassing necessity for a full evaluation by a doctor.
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Here is our gig calendar for the remainder of May. Come party with us soon!
@TICMusic#FF pic.twitter.com/i1kcqdmZ3I -
naked eggs. don't look
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“Electric” by The Instant Classics band ( TIC ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7LNnsSuJ6s&sns=tw … via
@youtube -
Chill baby, you can't win twitter in a day.
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Along with a twitter account comes a superpower?
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If you somehow reference Black Sabbath, Alice In Wonderland or T.S. Eliot, your tweet is getting RTd by me.
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Eine swein wienerschnitzel nein Translation One, two, your dachshund sneezed, no? Sounds better if you say it with a French accent.
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Self righteous tweets are precursors to psychological breakdowns.
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Right Brain: She's still not following me back! Left Brain: Who? RB: That girl. LB: Have you seen your avi, dumbass?
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Right Brain: You know that girl that follows everybody back but me? Left Brain: You're not going to let this go, are you? RB: Nope!
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If you can't change, at least rearrange.
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You know what I need more of in my life? People who'll star my tweets just because it was me who tweeted them, that's what.
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U can't hide your issues with laughter & jokes but it sure is fun making fun of them & making others laugh. Plus, the material is priceless
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Don't delete. Leave it up long enough for us to take turns throwing rocks and dirt clods at it.
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"Question 567: Would you describe the ensuing shit tsunami as a) pleasant b) tolerable or c) indescribably cool?"
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Each time you star a tweet without really enjoying it, you lose a bit of your soul, folks. Get it together.
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Pencils down. Pass your tweets forward. Class dismissed!
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I usually have a big cup of coffee before I mow the lawn, but I can't find it. I've lost my mow joe. ;-)
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I stayed up for this? This is ALL late-night twitter hasta offer?? Falls over on bed. Fine. Just get it over with.
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"Hey kids, don't pop pills, Pop Tarts! Wocka Wocka Wocka!"...What a Fozzie Bear anti-prescription abuse message would sound like on TV today
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Bib? The steamed clam's a squirter.
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I love the smell of stagnant hobo sex and hot garbage in the morning.
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If you stumble.. make it part of your dance ~Unknown
#LoveScopes ♥ -
If I were a turtle where would I be....
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Never take anything too seriously. -
OK, sure, let's play perfume or cleaning product. I'll go first.
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Uma is a stupid name for a pet rock.
#Fact -
there is no secret to perfection it lives in your mind only
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If you're having a hard time being chaste call my mom and let her tell you how Donal Trump makes her feel in her "nether region".
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I liked Mumford and Sons back when Sanford ran the band.
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Tom Hanks just DMed me and said to cut it out.
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If Tom Hanks wants you to be the president, then you'd better darn well start being president.
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"Men Sentenced in Naked-photo Plot Against Pro Poker Players" anagrams to 'Cheapened, somnolent, potent Spankers! ...Or kind plagiary poet.'
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I prefer my rock 'n roll less banjoey.
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If you work at a shoe shop you will find that the last pair of a style often has two rights or two lefts or just one and that's why.
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Caller: can I talk to the person in charge? Me: do you have an appointment? Caller: what? Me: you wanna make an appointment? *hangs up
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Trying really hard not to lick people right now.
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Uh-oh. No one left to lick. NOW what am I gonna do?
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I'm not cool. I still judge who I follow by follower-to-follow ratio. I judge, lest I be judged.
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Like Megadeth but just hi-hats
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If I worked in a drive thru I'd be all like ooh that sounds good, get two and gimme one
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Accidentally got summa ya off last night and prolly this mornin' too. Mighta just been in mah dreams, but still sendin' ya tha bill.
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Going back to the hole where it all began minus the bats.
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My ass--------Spank it My hair-------Yank it My vagina---Thank it
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You know how in movies people never say "bye" on the phone, they'll just hang up. If you do that in real life people call you on it.
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roses are red - violets are blue - fuck laundry.
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You fap out mean spirited rhetoric all day but are offended by peoples replies? Go home little boy.
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Someone who makes you feel worthless hasn't seen happiness in a really long time & they don't see it in you...walk away.
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Instead of "you go girl", say "you glow girl" and give the situation a fucking spiritual vibe and shit.
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I don't just follow you for your tweets. I follow you in spite of them.
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Pretty sure my client thinks we were on a date just now. THAT is how fabulous my pants are today.
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Attempts to explain "accidental" racism to me will be met with a vicious dose of "accidental" bitchitude. I'm too old for this shit.
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These Margaret Thatcher jokes are almost funny enough for me to think you fuckers can find England on a map.
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I wonder if cavemen were brave hunting saber-tooth tigers with only a stick, or if they just needed a break from their wife and kids.
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Dear Congress: WTF already.
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But your Your Honor, the Midol was in one of those blister packs you have to fucking peel apart... -Case dismissed.
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It is so windy I've offered to tie April's dress in a knot between her legs. Because I'm a gentleman. Wait. What?
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I still resent my high school for not inviting a white collar criminal to career day.
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No Favstar, no strings attached.
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Sure, you may need opposable thumbs to get into the car, but after that it's all middle finger.
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*Pixie Intervention*
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can't decide if my rapper name should be lil' lurker or not. i think not is more original.
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"Life is Suffering"...sorry but think that is just a tad fucked in the headspace there buddha baby get out & meet some psychotic pixies man
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Woohoo! 12k tweets. I only made 12 actual tweets. Mostly about my micro-penis. The rest are RTs. I RT mostly about micropeni.
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There are those who mock your stupidity, and those who gladly help you learn. Hats off to the kind ones!
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Try 2 explain Twitter 2 friend. Fact I am followed by horse, 3 dogs, cat, brown paper bag and a vegetable I don't recognise, doesn't help.
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Found out I have nothing funny, insightful, sarcastic,meaningful, or witty to say. You have been warned. Hell, that's hardly worth typing.
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I don’t have dicks respond to my tweets often. I follow a lot of crude tweeters, but few rude ones. So I get surprised.
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I don't know how people do it to handle multiple accounts. It's hard enough for me to handle dysfunctional bullshit on one Twitter account.
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It's a peculiar theology, but I believe one day I'll be reunited with all my lost tweets.
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Hi. This is the pope. Lolly let me use her acct until I set one up. Just wanna say, whaaaaazup. Get at me yo. Lez git this poppin.
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Ciabatta? Seeyalatah. (just a humble tweet for all the true heroes who refuse to pronounce the name of that stupid bread correctly)
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Ciabatta? More like Don'tbatta. Haha! Stupid bread.
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There's some people on Twitter that you know right away that you'd be friends in RL.
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Consulted with a team of experts & we've concluded that while wrapping your finger in tissue is more sanitary, you're still a nose picker.
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That awkward moment when you're yet another functioning cog in the capitalist machinery.
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The problem with tryna form new friendships at a park is most of these guys are just happy to be out of their strollers.
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Okay, I'll go along with this "fish in the sea" crap ... but I swim against the current and I don't like worms so bare hands fishing only.
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The half-life of the average Tweet is about 8 minutes.
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I’m not sendin'sub tweets.I’m a misunderstood person,like Donald Trump.....The man just tryin'to fix a rockabilly haircut with the wrong way
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I think I might've hit the point of diminishing returns with human interaction.
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My boyfriend think's his penis is so beautiful, anybody who see's it, will want to put it in their mouth... What the hell is wrong with him?
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When someone asks me how is my life,I answer "fine" I wanna say"messy like whore house"but the brothels are organized companies with profits
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I’ve been dying to get to know you in a social-anxiety induced setting.
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I've been smoking for years waiting for a handsome man to pop out of nowhere and light my cigarette with his penis.
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It will hit the media shortly - apparently my dogs have released videos of my "bad dog!" rants & rolled up newspaper use.
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Booty call on hold. Listening to Muzak.
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I hate to brag but more of my followers get suspended than yours.
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You can tell a lot about a person by who they retweet.
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These are the Cliff's Notes of our lives.
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~ When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you. - Lao Tzu ♥
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You're all silly. And I like it. And love most of you. So shut it poopy head Xxx
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Respect yourself enough to walk away from things that don't make you grow, learn or laugh.
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Yeah well my thumbs say I CAN win this war!! ...Me to tape, saran wrap, anything involving a curling iron and evolution
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The kitchen at work is so small that I can't even fit my balls through the door to get in.
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This nipple slapping contest has sent me down a deep shame spiral
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I learned everything I know about women from Star Trek next generation.
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Haven't tweeted in so long I think I'm about to take the SATs. The fate of my entire life & all of humanity rests upon this single analogy.
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a baby buggy but for rocks
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Angry birds has changed me forever as a person..
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Oops, forgot to be a self-centered cunt, and ended up RTing awesome people.
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'Whiter Shade of Pale' - Annie Lennox: http://youtu.be/CJIVz9nYx7I via
@youtube -
Everyday I like 2learn something. 2day I learn raspberries hav small pips which get stuck between teeth. Not big day in search 4 knowledge.
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I could delete a lot of these but then the reader wins.
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Gotta smoke up and get into scooping horse poop frame of mind.
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Sometimes even being soul mates doesn't mean that you should mate...or some deep shit, whatever.
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Just say NO to favstar.
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okay, I can see trouble approaching; it’s wearing cowboy hat.
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*sneaks in* *throws a shoe at your head* *whispers* "Hi... Shhhh... Goodnight. Ok, bye." *blows a kiss* *slaps own ass* *sneaks out* *cries*
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It's like happy people are just begging to be openly mocked.
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I hate when a guy ruins my new shirt by sticking his hands and his face inside while I'm trying to write this fucking tweet.
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I really don't want to follow people that steal tweets--not because it's a crime but why can't you think of your own idiot tweets.
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I once knew a man who made a room out of garage doors & showed films of his wife giving him head. It was odd but the films were fairly good.
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The floor was still wet and I hid dirty pots and pans in the oven. Been doing yard work for days, and now the appraiser just left. Beer me.
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When I see a 4yo tweet get RTed, I think “wow, wisdom from the Ancient Ones”
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Do people who live where hurricanes happen still like to be rocked like one?
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If you knew how many times I hit 'comment' then 'cancel' half way through you'd thank me. Or unfollow. Or both. Maybe neither. Meh, whatevs.
Instant Classics fan
Kellye
WhatserName
Hushpuppy 5¢
Nickels
Indian Bread Maker
Ms. X to you
Evil Schwartzie
vaudeville vamp
C C
Justin Walker™
PrincessCandyEmpire
Tortured_soul
Scott Taylor
Southern Insomniac
pahehpaher
BlackWidow
alex carbajal
Pam Nabea
truly
LoveScopes
The Absinthe Fairie
Theodora Chester
Seven
sex out the city, ok
S. Anthony Thomas
D Jiwicky
System Failure
Don Pearyawn
The Instant Classics
Lolly Sassafras
Jesus Jaramillo
gordon
James
kyle bc
L. David Sloane
Life Sucks
Dolores
Darrin
Scarlett Fever
jennco
Fondue KnuckleSlap.
Anonymous Vagabond
Suzanne
skullpuppy
@Nimrod_Nation
Madame LaCrooz
Vandal
Sean O'C
hashtagtractor
/b//läh/
PUNTED CUNT FACE
cynthiazolamOverdose
Chrisanna4real
indie claws
crse
SharkFu
Harpy
Fred Pollack
Tony
Molly
CatasTrophy
Ana
Maral Ghanma
freckle face
paula
Blakey Pants
Sonal
From the desk of ...
Just Call Me Frank™©
NotYourMothersZombie
Wistful Blue
blunder rated
Pam
Tink
Madelene
Mytwoscentz
Zeke Kastens
Satyriasis is Fun
Nico
Copulaterman
Jo
nerdamage
JenniferDancingBear
Saga
Natalie P. McTitties
aken yeho
Sweet P.
SpaceSquirrel
Lilly
...
Labels: #ftwot, #gaf, #gsoav, #jsntf, #tbot, tweets, twitter
posted by Taranonymous Reads Not the Book of Tweet @ 9:11 AM
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